"Begging For Videos"

My two-year-old demands to see videos all day long. I usually let him watch one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but sometimes I can't stand his whining and let him watch one several times in a row. Is it harmful to him to watch too much television? What can I do when he whines about it all day?

-- -- plugged in in Pasadena

You have posed several important questions here. How much television should a two-year-old be allowed to watch? Is there a difference between television and videos? How can you deal with the insistent demands of a toddler?
      There are several issues to consider when thinking about television for young children. The first is the quality of the programming, which can range from quite good to horrible. With videos, you sometimes have more control over what your child is watching, and you may be able to avoid most commercials, which are also problematic for young children. (Have you ever noticed that 90% of "girl's toys" advertised are indoor toys and 90% of "boy's toys" are outside toys?)
      Videos do, however, have many of the same problems as regular TV programming. TV programs and videos are rife with violence, including cartoon violence where characters get hit or run over and pop right back up. Many shows commonly promote negative values such as rivalry between kids, manipulation and dishonesty in relationships. Despite programming advances, there is still rampant sexism and racism, with females and people of color having less representation and being portrayed in stereotypical ways. Native Americans still show up in feathered headdresses, saying "How " or "Ug." Women are still valued for their sexiness or appearance while men are valued for their strength and brains.
      Another thing to consider in terms of children's programming is the "pace" of a show. Many children's shows move at such a breakneck speed that all the child can do is sit, glued, with her mouth hanging open. When programming moves at a more "human" pace, as in shows like Mr. Rogers, children get a chance to interact more, to be more involved.
      The other major issue when we think about TV is what happens to kids while they are sitting in front of a television. By definition, TV is a passive medium. The viewer just sits and watches. The program creators and actors get to do all of the interacting, creating and moving.
      Young children learn by being active and interacting with people and their environment. Through "hands-on" learning, they get responses to what they do: "I pick up a bucket, feel the muscles in my arms and hands, and when I turn it over, the sand falls out, making a swishing noise and covering up my feet."
      Television offers none of the rich sensory experience that real life does, nor does it respond or change depending on a child's input. Also, children who spend long hours each day sitting still in front of a TV are not crawling, running, jumping, climbing, digging, drawing, or throwing, activities necessary for their physical development. Children develop muscle strength and coordination by practice, repetition and mastery of these physical skills, not by sitting still watching others move. Some studies show a correlation between children with weight problems and television viewing.
      One advantage videos have over TV programming is that you can stop and start a video, and you can also repeat it. Young children love repetition and, in fact, begin to interact with a story they have experienced several times. So, watching a good video over and over may be better than watching continuous new programming.
      As we're sure you probably realize, the real advantage of television watching is not for children, but for their parents. Many children get so engrossed in TV that their parents can actually get something done while they are watching. This can be a lifesaver in many families, but it is important that we don't overuse it.
      For toddlers and young preschoolers, we suggest the following guidelines:
. Put off introducing TV for as long as you can. There are so many more enriching activities for young children to be involved in.
. Limit how much children watch. An hour a day is a lot of television for a young child. If your toddler has started watching television, you may want to make his TV viewing at a consistent time every day, so that he "knows" when it will be. Eventually, he will learn to stop begging for it all day. Also, children don't have to watch a whole program. You can let them know that you are going to watch until the cow part.
. Preview programs and watch with your child whenever possible. This allows you to choose appropriate content and to talk to your child about things that come up that are scary, misleading, inappropriate or counter to your values.
. Tape your favorite shows (removing the commercials) or use videos. Children benefit from repetition and video tapes allow you to choose the best time for your child's viewing.
. Watch "home" videos. If you have access to a video camera, children's favorite programming may be videos of themselves, their pets, and their families.
. Choose content that is relevant to your child. Children can relate to the ideas on TV better if they are familiar with the content. Videos about animals, trucks, kids playing, bugs, singing and dancing are hits with young children.
. Provide alternative "rest" activities for your child. Often parents say that their children watch videos so that they can rest. It is important that children have other, less distracting ways of resting so that they are not "dependent" on TV to wind down and take a break. (Interestingly, one study showed that adults were actually more irritable after watching TV than they were before.)
. Provide fun alternatives to television. Toddlers will often choose water play, going to the park, dancing, stacking blocks, helping Daddy cook or reading a book over TV if these activities are available. Children also enjoy music or stories on tape. This, too, can give parents a little break, without so many of the negatives of television.