:What causes a three-year-old to pretend to be an elephant? My child is obsessed with this animal.
Young children beginning around the age of two, and throughout the elementary grades are fascinated with fantasy or pretend play. This kind of play allows children to explore their imaginations and gain understanding of the world through recreating what they see around them. Pretend play allows children to "be in charge." Unlike so many of their experiences, where adults are making the decisions and directing their experience, they are fully in control when they are engaged in this play. Children use this play to work through fears and other feelings. A child might re-play an accident she had or a visit to the doctor. This play not only helps her understand what happened, it gives her a feeling of control over the event that she didn't experience when it was happening to her.
Pretend play helps children feel powerful. Often children choose powerful characters for themselves: parents, firefighters, superheroes, dinosaurs, wild animals and other magical characters. Pretend play also helps children develop a sense of empathy. What does it feel like to be the daddy? How might a lion feel when he is roaring and scaring the children? What is it like for an elephant who uses his trunk to drink?
Pretend play helps children think about the world. Because young children are "hands-on" learners, they learn best about elephants by pretending to be one, and/or by seeing, hearing, touching and smelling elephants. When a child "becomes" an elephant, he has to think about how an elephant moves, what it eats, where it sleeps, how it spends its day, how it takes a bath, what kind of sounds it makes, how it asks it's mommy for food, what it does with it's trunk, etc. As a child plays out these issues, his thinking and understanding about elephants increases.
Because pretend play affords such rich opportunities for learning and for feeling powerful and competent, many children become obsessed with it for long periods of time. Unless children seem scared by their play or are unable to engage in any other play activities, it is not a cause for worry. Instead, it is an indication of a child's power of concentration and creativity.
Finally, young children don't fully understand the difference between reality and imagination or pretend. Your three-year old may fully believe that he is an elephant. Most of the time, unless a child is scaring himself or others, there is no need to intervene or to convince him that it is just pretend. This understanding will come normally as your child gets older.
Here are some things to think about in relation to supporting your child's pretend play:
. Provide space and time for creative play. Children need lots of open, unscheduled time in order to explore their pretend play. If they are in childcare, there should be ample free choice time. At home, time without the TV, computer or video games allows children the space to explore their own creativity.
Pretend play is often messy. Children need space to do it and permission to make some mess. They like to move furniture and toys around in innovative ways to create play spaces. They will often create a play space and return to it later. Families need to negotiate space so children have an opportunity to play creatively in ways that don't interfere with the rest of the family's need for order.
. Help children with props for their play. Children can be amazingly innovative in using whatever is available for their play. We can help by providing a variety of open-ended materials for children to play with: dress-up clothes (from used clothing stores), different kinds of cloth, cardboard boxes, blocks, tools of the trade (dolls, cooking utensils, telephones, headphones, computer keyboards, backpacks, camping equipment etc.) We can also help them create or discover props to use in play as the need arises. When your son needs a trunk in order to be an elephant, you can look around with him for something the two of you could use to make a trunk with. This will extend his creative thinking and may help him develop sewing, art and/or construction skills.
. Talk to children about their creative ideas. While the beauty of pretend play is that children can and should be in charge, and should be able to do it without adult intervention, there is a role for adults to play. Using appropriate timing, adults may be able to ask open-ended questions that help children problem-solve or extend their thinking. "How do you think elephants sleep?" "What are all the things an elephant could do with his trunk?" "How would an elephant carry something?"
Adults can also provide information, when needed. This is kind of tricky, because most pretend play is not about the facts, but more about the feelings. And many of children's misconceptions don't need to be corrected, because children aren't really ready for the new information. When they are ready, they will learn it through their own discovery. However, there are situations where a child might ask for information or you may feel the need to give information because it is unsafe for children to continue on with their misconceptions.
One useful way to provide information to children about the things they are pretending about is to read stories or take field trips with them. This doesn't interrupt the flow of their play, but still affords them the opportunity to gain new information.
. Ensure safety. Sometimes in the midst of pretend play, children forget what they know about safety and may need help with limits. "Those sticks you are using for swords are really pointy. We can make some safer swords or you can keep the sticks low." "It looks like Elephant is excited the way he is swinging his trunk around. Elephant needs to be careful not to hit his friends with his trunk."
Emotional safety is also important during pretend play. If children become scared, it is important to intervene to help them feel safe, or change the play if necessary.
. Provide links to other kinds of play, if necessary. Most pretend play affords children the opportunity to be physically active, socially engaged and creatively involved. However, if your child is involved in play that all happens quietly indoors, you may want to see if you can help him expand it to other realms. "I know these kittens like to sleep in their cozy nest and play inside, but I'm wondering if they would like to go outside to see if they can hunt some mice."
Another time you might help children extend play is when they are playing a superhero theme over and over and seem to unable to vary it. Chasing and play fighting are pretend activities that kids sometimes get stuck in. "I see these X-Men running and chasing. What do they do when they get hungry and tired? Where do these X-Men live?" Often, such a suggestion will enable children to extend their play into fort building or pretend cooking.
